My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont.
The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and
said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
Full Version: Techie Jokes
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they(pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery for
this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they(pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery for
this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
INSTALLING WIFE version 1.0
CAUTION: Extremely Powerful Software. It Controls the
Whole System.
* When installing this s/w, additional s/w like
Mother-in-law 1.0 and
Father-in-law 1.0 will be automatically
installed in ur system.
/>* Wife 1.0 may detect s/w like Girl friends
1.0,2.0,3.0 etc as viruses and try to uninstall it.
* Do not install Wife 2.0 over Wife 1.0 for this
may corrupt the system.
* Applications like Smoking 5.2, Drinking 6.7 ,
Parties 2.0 may stop working abruptly.
* Service Packs like Jewels 1, Flower 2, Dresses
3may be added for the smooth functioning of Wife 1.0.
* Resources like Time, Money would be occupied
by Wife 1.0.
CAUTION: Extremely Powerful Software. It Controls the
Whole System.
* When installing this s/w, additional s/w like
Mother-in-law 1.0 and
Father-in-law 1.0 will be automatically
installed in ur system.
/>* Wife 1.0 may detect s/w like Girl friends
1.0,2.0,3.0 etc as viruses and try to uninstall it.
* Do not install Wife 2.0 over Wife 1.0 for this
may corrupt the system.
* Applications like Smoking 5.2, Drinking 6.7 ,
Parties 2.0 may stop working abruptly.
* Service Packs like Jewels 1, Flower 2, Dresses
3may be added for the smooth functioning of Wife 1.0.
* Resources like Time, Money would be occupied
by Wife 1.0.
Some important questions if you are preparing for a Java interview
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different nothing more
Q. What do you know about the garbage collector ?
A. A person who clean the dust bin.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. How do you communicate in between Applets & Servlets ?
A. If they are reachable by walk ,I will go in person, else I will use phone.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels ,they can replace servers
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes.Make a rope from threads is an example for process
Q. What is the order of method invocation in an Applet ?
A. Either ascending or desending.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. Have you ever used HashTable and Dictionary ?
A. There is a Dictionary named Hash in my table.
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JNI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. What is the base class for all swing components ?
A. A glass that can be beneath all and which is very rigid.
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fast food & Coffee
Q. What is Difference between AWT and Swing ?
A. AWT is an acronym .Swing is a word.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. Why do you Canvas ?
A. To get victory in election.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after ther other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can not communicate.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish ,I do not have any objections.
Q. What are virtual functions ?
A. Functions about which we are dreaming.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed,a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact difference in between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society ,if there is only one caste ,then it is Unicast, Else it is multicast.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. What is meant by distributed Application ?
A. Distributing application forms
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and three wheelers will have 3 tyres.
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different nothing more
Q. What do you know about the garbage collector ?
A. A person who clean the dust bin.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. How do you communicate in between Applets & Servlets ?
A. If they are reachable by walk ,I will go in person, else I will use phone.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels ,they can replace servers
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes.Make a rope from threads is an example for process
Q. What is the order of method invocation in an Applet ?
A. Either ascending or desending.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. Have you ever used HashTable and Dictionary ?
A. There is a Dictionary named Hash in my table.
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JNI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. What is the base class for all swing components ?
A. A glass that can be beneath all and which is very rigid.
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fast food & Coffee
Q. What is Difference between AWT and Swing ?
A. AWT is an acronym .Swing is a word.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. Why do you Canvas ?
A. To get victory in election.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after ther other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can not communicate.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish ,I do not have any objections.
Q. What are virtual functions ?
A. Functions about which we are dreaming.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed,a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact difference in between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society ,if there is only one caste ,then it is Unicast, Else it is multicast.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. What is meant by distributed Application ?
A. Distributing application forms
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and three wheelers will have 3 tyres.
QUOTE (srtools1980y @ Oct 20 2009, 06:37 AM) 
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
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