One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,
making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers...as if you needed to rationalize beer-drinking

The Lost Handbag.
----------------------------

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall.
It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

It Finally Dawned
---------------------


"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.

"Well, doc, 25 years ago ..."

"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the
farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.

I said no, everything is fine. "Are you sure?", she asked. "I'm sure,
I said. "Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not" I replied ...

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?"

"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"

Beer
------

Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis
that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a
concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains
female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough
beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour
period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.